Mokou's anger management
by Uncle.Dragon
Summary: Join Mokou and Dr.Yagokoro in a adventure to manage your anger! NO YOUKAIS, ANIMALS AND HUMANS ARE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS SHOW.


"So, it seems that you're getting a lot better for a few weeks now. I'm glad to see improvements ever since we got married." Keine Fujiwara said with a light smile showing on her face as she wrote down her comments on her student's work.

"That smarty-pants doctor thinks she can be a professional psychologist like you, but I doubt that is the case." I took out a CD case, titled "Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger" and place it on the table. "That bitch dragged me in making this stupid video a few days ago, and here it is."

She took a look at the disc. Popping this into a previously non-existent DVD player in the room, she played the disc.

"W-when did you bought this? And the plasma television? I don't remember seeing this here on my last visit."

"I bought this yesterday from Rinnosuke. It's brand new. I get bored sometimes marking assignments all day." She rubbed her panda eyes, taking her cup of coffee and drank it all up like a hungry child. "There's still a lot of time before your shift starts, so let's just take a look, shall we?" At a press of a few buttons, the video begun playing.

* * *

**Warning: No Youkais, animals or person is harmed during the making of the 'Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger'. Probably the last part doesn't apply, since people will get hurt in the show. This show is copyright and if you attempt to rename this series to make it your own or burn it, be prepared to meet Fujiwara no Mokou, the most fearsome woman in Gensokyo, big time. Don't say we didn't warn you.**

Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger

Directed by: Eirin Yagokoro.

Co-host: Fujiwara no Mokou, 1300 something girl with anger problems and her happy crew.

* * *

"_Welcome to the twelve-step programme to manage your anger. Once you have finished watching this video, I'm sure that your lives will be better and much more fulfilling as you have expected. I am Dr. Eirin Yagokoro, and this is my fellow patient and co-host, Fujiwara no Mokou."_

"_Hi."_

"_Let's not waste anymore time, shall we? We'll move on to the first step."

* * *

_

_**First Step: Video Games**_

For those who are rich and have at least an O-wee, a Z-Box 180 or a FunStation 3 Action console, good for you, if not, get one now at Kourindou for 89.90. This is the step for you. For those who have neither of these, you might want to skip this step and move on to the next step by pressing the 'Next button.'

"_This step is self-explanatory. Research shows that those who play video games that make you exert your inner anger get sick less than those who bottled up their anger or does not let it go. Let my partner show you how this is done."_

_Mokou grabbed the two O-wee remotes from the couch, creating her own fighting stance to get ready. As the game started, Mokou imitated the actions on the screen, punching the guts out of her opponent._

While she exerts her anger out at some virtual images, for those who aren't so well off, let's move on to the next step.

* * *

_**Second Step: Exercise**_

"_Mokou's the fastest runner in the area." The half-youkai owner of Kourindou commented, patting on the immortal's shoulder._

"_Yeah, and I can run faster than the wind when not flying." With a white headband on with the kanji 'Victory' written, Mokou was ready to jog, pacing herself for the first minutes of her plans._

"_HEY! Aren't you doing anything?"_

"_Yes I am…..CYCLING!"_

"…_Nice biking suit Rinnosuke. You look ridiculous placing protections around your entire body."

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_

_**Third Step: Deep Breathes**_

"_It's good to keep a healthy lifestyle in order to manage your anger." Taking a few deep breathes, Hong Mei ling and Mokou inhale and exhale in perfect unison._

"_Don't breathe the air in Gensokyo. It's bad for your health and you'll die."_

_It was Reimu Hakurei's father, the supreme Dragon, making such a brutally honest comment. Ever since Utsuho Reiuji's 'sparring' battle with Avatar Gian, the air quality of Gensokyo hasn't been too good and so he is wearing a gas mask, he turned to Ms. Hong, passing her a surgical mask to keep her safe from the 'dangerous' air._

"_You're the one having problems, old man." Gian, the soundman said angrily. "There are worse places in the outside world that has bad air quality. Gensokyo is nothing, try Los Angeles or China. You'll probably 'die' from breathing too much air from there, of course, without a gas mask."_

"…_Nonsense! Ignorant little boy." The Dragon rebuked, pointing his finger at Gian._

"_You went to the outside world a few years ago, right? Surely you'll realize Gian is right for once." Eirin defended Gian's part of his argument. Mokou and Mei ling ignored their somewhat paranoid god and continued with their exercises. "And breathe in…and out. In…and out…"

* * *

_

_**Forth Step: Hobbies and favorite past times**_

"_Ahh…your favourite past times. Oh mine?" The eccentric doctor faced the camera with glee. "Dissecting bodies-Ouch!" Reisen did her usual karate chop on Eirin in her abdomen, while chatting with her online friends on her notebook._

"_Oh shut it teacher. No one likes to have their bodies rip apart; including me." The moon rabbit scoffed at her teacher. "You don't like your body to be ripped apart, do you?"_

"_I take that back, Reisen-kun," Eirin chuckled, not before turning back to Mokou, preparing dinner for herself and her wife and so-called co-workers. "Aside from…my unusual past time, your favourite hobbies and past times will take your angry mind away from lashing out at people you care about. Let's see what's Mokou's making."_

"_Don't touch the dishes on the table!" The white-haired lashed out at Eirin, stirring a pot of chicken soup. "They're hot. Your hands are extremely dirty too! Wash them now, or else I'll throw this refrigerator at you."_

"_Oh what nice apron you're wearing, Mokou-ta-"_

The camera and Aya Shameimaru got smashed by the flying fridge intended for the doctor.

* * *

_**Fifth Step: Sing till you drop**_

"_Ohh! I love singing! Especially during shower time! What about you, Mokou?" Mystia squeals with much enthusiasm. Unfortunately, she did not prepare for Mokou's response._

"_No."_

_A long silent surrounded the apartment, no one spoke a word._

Well, singing is good. If you aren't the singing type, or you are just hopelessly tone-deaf, let's move on to the next step.

* * *

_**Sixth Step: Exert your Anger…Physically!**_

"_This is when you- AHHHH!" Thrown out of the 3rd__storey like a ragdoll, Marisa Kirisame ended up in a recycling bin full of plastic bottles (kappa trash)._

_Mokou, who had just walked out of a ruined apartment, saw the poor magician lying on a bed of bottles._

"_Er, sorry. I didn't do that on purpose, flinging at the door like that. Get mad with people who aren't ready to pay their food on time… and with Kaguya."_

"_And this is one way to exert your anger physically."_

"_Hey, get out of the way, you lazy young lass!" An old lady in her seventies reprimanded Marisa. Pulling the girl out of the bin and collecting all the bottles she could find, she turned back, facing her with a frown._

"_I don't get young people these days, lazy, worthless and stupid. I wonder how the world can survive with those youngsters screwing everything up." And that she left, not before complaining her backaches._

"_That's another way to do it."

* * *

_

_**Seventh Step: Screw someone's life up.**_

"_My favourite part out of the twelve steps." Mokou rubbed her hands, smiling sinisterly as she plans on screwing up someone's life. "And I know who's the guy to fool in front of the entire world…"_

Well, as the title implied, this is one way to exert your anger, but with a cost. Your mileage may vary on this step, but if you are bent in screwing your greatest enemy's entire life, continue watching. We'll give you some tips how to turn their lives upside down, for the better for yourself, but not the victim. Oh right, there are no victims here.

Knock knock.

"_Hey, Mokou! Didn't expect you to come visi-"_

"_To hell with you, motherfucker!" A burst of flames knocks Kaguya Houraisan out of her consciousness as her light, charred body fell on the clean, carpeted floor.

* * *

_

_**Eighth Step: Take it out on someone (But don't guarantee that s/he will ever see you again.)**_

Well, some people do that, but at a great cost. If you aren't the kind who would care about having lots and lots of friends, or someone who doesn't like their good reputation to be tarnished, maybe the next step can help you. Your mileage may vary.

"_Since we are anti-social people, we have two great examples standing right on the other side of the library." Mokou said, pointing at Koakuma and Patchouli arguing over a novel._

"_Well it sucks all right. It seems you can't differentiate a good novel over a trashy one!"_

"_You're blind all right! Look at you, the novel you published was very much an old shame. No one buys them."_

"_Stop mentioning that pathetic book I wrote! Anyway, the author should stop writing and live his remaining life in shame."_

"_No, he shall go on!"_

"_Yes he should!"_

"_Oh no, he doesn't!"_

_While busy with their bickering, Sakuya, Mokou and Eirin shook their head._

"_Well, if you can't take the risk, the next step could help."

* * *

_

_**Ninth Step: Spray at someone's door**_

"_Wait, Mokou! Not at MY door! Suwako-sama will be SO upset with me for letting anyone stain the door with anything again!"_

"_All right, so LET'S GO SPRAY KAGUYA'S DOOOOORRR! I'm sure she'll be EXTREMELY happy with her newly decorated door." Mokou gave the Wind Priestess her 'great' suggestion, brisk walking while shaking the spray cans (kappa quality) in each hand. "Spray spray spray… hahahaha!"_

_Sanae took a worried look at Mokou before looking at the camera. "She's nuts when it comes to Kaguya."

* * *

_

_**Tenth Step: Rob the bank**_

Rob a bank? No that's ridiculous. Well, there are some airheads who are ready to take the risk. Money? Money can't buy everything in the world.

Gensokyo doesn't have banks anyway.

* * *

_**Eleventh Step: If you think raping someone is one way, you're wrong. Go vandalize someone else's car is a GOOD way. We don't recommend tarnishing one's virginity.**_

"_You should thank us both for committing…a less serious crime." Eirin started nodding her head as she shake the spray can with vigour. "I'm afraid that tarnishing one's virginity is NOT a great idea to release your inner anger."_

"_Let's get this started." Without wasting a moment, Mokou and Eirin, with a spray can in each hand started vandalizing Reimu's donation box._

Well, we calculated when Reimu will come out to buy groceries, sexually harass Yukari Yakumo, other appointments and for dinner. Just don't get yourself caught by the police, the authorities…or the owner herself_. _

_Reisen pulled Mokou and Eirin away, as Reimu, red with fury began screaming at her offenders._

"_Come back here! How dare you do this to my piggy bank!"

* * *

_

_**Last Step: Go kill someone (Note: This is only used as a last resort.)**_

"_We do not recommend you doing this for your own amusement, identical to how Ms. Kaguya messes people up with her grand requests…" Eirin started off and before Mokou could do anything, the video stopped at this point, unable to be seen.

* * *

_

I was the one stopping the video from running. I guess Eirin and I take our stunts a little too far. Trust me; you do NOT want to know the rest of the last segment. One thing you should know; I did not kill anyone in the last step. Let's just say…it's an enactment.

By now, Keine and I were too tired to watch further. I guess this is the only BIG reason why this DVD did not end up selling in the outside world. But I do agree screwing Kaguya's life is one way I could manage my anger. At least I'm not breaking the law. Screw the Dragon; I have my punches to keep myself going. When I turned to Keine, her surprise look shows like an open book. After a while, Keine nodded in agreement.

"You're right. It's better to keep this in your hands. And keep mum about this to Eirin."

"If she ever finds out I didn't took her advice, I know what to do…" I cracked my knuckles, feeling rather relieved in making the right decisions.


End file.
